Grey territory

It's exactly 3 months ago that I set foot in Oslo. Not for the first time ever, but the first step to making it my home.

Having people; family, friends and strangers, asking me how I feel about Norway has got to be my most frequent dilemma. "Cold" is usually my single-word answer. Neat and straight to the point.

But I don't think that's what they were after. Frankly, I don't know what the answer should be. Just maybe something more than a "cold", I guess.

For the past few months, I've been struggling to find the answer that I seek. And as all pondering does to me, I find myself back on that emotional roller-coaster ride through that sky high snow-covered peak to pitch darkness deep under the sea. I worried and I doubted; but at the same time, I see a glimmer of hope and future. And when I snap out of it, I almost always find myself in this grey territory that I call reality. 

Why must it be a definite Love or Hate answer, I queried inside. Sometimes, there's just no answer. I would lift my chest to show you my heart, but I couldn't. And even if I can, there won't be a "Y" or "N" embedded on it, this I know for sure.

Oslo.. Norway.. I haven't known you all that well; and I still get lost on your sculpture-filled parks, but I want to know you. I want to love you like I did Melbourne. I want to start making memories that says us. Most of all, I want you to feel the same way for me..

It's still grey to me, but at least it's beautiful..