Forgive and Forget

I saw her the other day.

Her, being the female who scarred my tender first years away from home. The one who got my heart surged in hatred and anxiety just by the mere mention of her name. The one who instil trauma and nightmares in real life.

It's amazing how after so many years, 5 years to be exact; I still can't forget her.

Coincidentally enough, Val and I were just talking about the notion "forgive and forget" moments prior to the incident (she should be overseas!!!! And never come back!!). Should I say cos we're women, or we're only human? I want to believe that I've forgiven; that I have gone on to treat her like anyone else in the world, a perfect stranger. I sincerely did believe that..

But, no.

I began to reason with myself, with or without the mirror. If I've truthfully forgiven, why then would I feel the crazy heartbeat, the flush and the ache? The hate and the distrust for humankind. The suspicion that you can never really trust anyone in the whole world.

I hate her. I still do.

And I don't think I will ever forget..